When Jenny and I set off on our second Royal Caribbean cruise, we wanted to experience something truly memorable. Our first cruise had been a landlubber’s delight—walking around port towns, no formal excursions, just soaking in the atmosphere and trying to exhaust the drink package. This time, we were determined to go all in. Enter: the Damajagua Waterfalls “Fun Adrenaline Waterfall (7 Waterfalls)” excursion. The description promised natural beauty, adventure, and, well, fun. Spoiler alert: we got more adrenaline than we bargained for—and less fun than you’d expect.

The Hike: “Just Five More Minutes!”

Our adventure began with a chaotic check-in process at the port. Tickets? Check. Controlled chaos? More chaos than control. After a bumpy bus ride through Puerto Plata—where the vibrant streets teemed with life and culture—we arrived at the trailhead.

Helmets and life jackets were handed out with the precision of a yard sale at rush hour. Once geared up, we began our ascent. The hike itself? Glorious. Steep in spots but manageable with a few pauses to catch our breath. The jungle smelled sweet and earthy, a nostalgic echo of Omaha’s Henry Doorly Zoo. No bat guano sightings, but the aroma was there.

The guides? Cheery pranksters who assured us at every twist, “Just five more minutes!”—a phrase we soon realized meant anything but. Despite the laughs, the lack of wildlife surprised me. I’d pictured monkeys swinging and toucans squawking. Instead, it was quiet. Serene. Perhaps the animals knew to avoid this human spectacle.

 Damajagua National Park

Tucked away in the lush Northern Corridor mountain range of the Dominican Republic, surrounded by a patchwork of sugarcane fields and coconut trees, lies a natural gem known as Damajagua National Park—or, as it’s more famously misnamed, the 27 Waterfalls of Damajagua. Now, here’s the kicker: they’re not actually all waterfalls.

The original Dominican name, “27 Charcos de Damajagua,” translates to “27 Pools of Damajagua.” That’s right—pools, not waterfalls. Somewhere along the line, someone took liberties with the translation, and the name “27 Waterfalls” stuck like sunscreen on a humid day. Truth be told, there are only 12 actual waterfalls in the park, but the 27 pools? Oh, they’re the real stars of the show.

The park itself is a natural playground—equal parts beauty and adrenaline—nestled not far from Puerto Plata. Whether you’re drawn in by the shimmering pools, the crashing waterfalls, or just the allure of a wild adventure in the jungle, it’s easy to see why this spot has become one of the Dominican Republic’s most famous attractions – for thrill seekers.

So, while the name might not be quite accurate, the magic of Damajagua is undeniable. Just don’t forget quality water shoes—trust me on this one.

Slides, Slips, and Bruises

Waterfalls two through five were marginally better—largely because we knew what to expect. Jenny banged her elbow (at first she thought she may have fractured it); I slipped and jammed my wrist. By this point, we had resigned ourselves to survival mode. The guides were friendly but hurrying to get the people through the journey. The sixth and seventh “waterfalls”? OSHA violations waiting to happen. A sheer 20-foot cliff awaited us. Jump too far, hit rocks. Not far enough? Smash the cliff face. No thanks—we opted for the slippery, vertical ladder. It was no less terrifying.

A Journey Lost in Translation (and currency exchange)

After the final plunge, soaked and exhausted, we expected reprieve. Instead, we faced a 40-minute trek over uneven terrain, crossing shallow rivers and clambering over boulders. Back at the staging area, we returned our gear and briefly browsed the gift shop. In a daze, I purchased Jenny a necklace with a larimar pendant, a stone native to the Dominican Republic. For a moment, I panicked, thinking I’d accidentally spent $1,500 on a necklace that the shopkeeper said was around $25. It was Dominican Pesos, thankfully.

The promised lunch by the ocean was underwhelming—a smattering of dishes, stray dogs begging for scraps, and an overwhelming desire to return to the ship. By the time we made it back to the port, we had mere minutes to spare. Grabbing a small Dominican flag as a keepsake, we dashed onboard, longing for a hot shower and a stiff drink.

Royal Caribbean Redefines “Strenuous”

Royal Caribbean’s marketing paints Damajagua as a “wonderland of natural beauty.” Sure, the jungle was breathtaking, and the rain added a cinematic touch. But the excursion itself? It felt more like an extreme sport than a fun jaunt. The description on their website says it’s “Strenuous” but reads like an adventure novel—“Enter a wonderland of natural beauty at Puerto Plata’s most precious treasure, the Damajagua Waterfalls, where you hike the trails and jump into, slide down, and swim under the waterfalls.” We thought we’d be frolicking in pools under the waterfalls.

What it leaves out are the moments of sheer terror, the bottlenecked panic, and the bone-jarring slips.

Would I recommend this excursion? For thrill-seekers with a penchant for near-death experiences—sure. For anyone looking for a relaxing day in paradise? Steer clear. The Dominican Republic has so much to offer. Next time, Jenny and I will skip the adrenaline and opt for a cultural or culinary tour. Because sometimes, at my age, the best memories are made at a slower pace.

Here’s to lessons learned—and to fewer bruises on the next adventure.